Midtown Madness

Good grief I do not like midtown Manhattan one bit. I actually like ritzy Park Ave more than Herald Square or Madison Square Gardens or Times Square or any of those. And "Fashion Ave" is just scary. First off, it's wrong for any street to be better known as Fashion Avenue than its actual name. Secondly, there are far too many people there. Thirdly, it smells bad. And fourthly, it's the mecca of corporate chain stores. I was overwhelmed. And not in a good way, like when I'm walking through Williamsburg and I see tons of clubs and I wanna check 'em out but I just can't remember all their names and locations (nor do I have enough money). But bad overwhelmed, like shit, my heart is racing and I have to poo and there are people everywhere and THAT CABBIE ALMOST RAN OVER MY TOES!

So why did I venture to such parts? The culprit: Taylor, my beautiful blonde friend who invited me to lunch at midtown hell where she has to work every freakin' day. We met up for sushi and though it was wonderful to see her, arriving early to scope out the area was not smart. I was charged $4 for a cup of Dannon yogurt (I was misled to believe it was a bowl of yogurt with fresh fruit!!) and $2 for a small glass of really bad iced coffee. Then I got yelled at for not crossing the street as soon as the stop hand turned to the little walking man. Then I bumped into someone and, while apologizing, bumped into someone else. Then I decided that I needed a cigarette, but you know what? A pack of Marlboro's costs $7! No one ever needs a cigarette that badly. And damn those cab drivers are vicious. They don't care at all about the feet of pedestrians who are rightfully crossing in a supposedly safe crosswalk.

So anyway, I found peace inside the 4-story Old Navy, mainly just because it was smaller and more contained than the outside insanity (though it did bother me that being inside an Old Navy made me feel better...I guess I felt calmer just 'cause it was familiar). I found a few cheap and work appropriate shirts, since my long-sleeved tees with thumb holes and Goodwill tees from the boys section don't quite meet Park Ave standards. Then I finally found the blonde bombshell herself and was instantly calmed by her soothing voice inflection and the serene sushi bar she picked. I made a bee-line for the subway upon parting ways, and that was that.

Yet somehow I committed myself to weekly lunches with Mama Tay. Perhaps they'll be postponed during Christmas season.

After this lunch date, I went back uptown to pick up the youngest girl, who from now on I will refer to as Marie. Her adorable friend came home with us and they hung out until it was time to hail a cab and hit up gymnastics lessons. I walked home after dropping them off and explored 90th St, all the way from York back to Park. It's actually kind of pretty, and fun to peek into the windows of all the crazy boutiques and try to imagine my house looking as frumpy as some of the furniture store displays. Or to picture myself in a $900 designer dress. I'd prolly drop ketchup on it or something the first day.

Oh, which reminds me that not only did they charge me $4 for that damn yogurt, but when I opened the top, a bit of pink goo jumped onto my shirt! That's strike three for the Tick Tock Diner!

Anyway, we're all getting ready for bed now because I have to wake up at 6:30 to escort Marie to school. Yup, that's right, I'm already doing overnights. Monday was my very first day, and Tuesday night was my very first overnight. Their mom, who I'll call Linda, had a last minute meeting come up in London so I'm here from Tues afternoon until tomorrow evening. It feels a little nuts, but at least Linda is very appreciative and thankful and paying me extra.

What a first week! Or a first few days rather! And I totally forgot to mention the craziness that erupted in my apartment when all these workers showed up to install everything at the same time and the landlord was mean to me so I yelled at him. I don't think he appreciated it but he's at least been nicer to me since.

And lastly, I highly recommend the book, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time." I just finished it today and it's a great story while also providing a one-of-a-kind and very accurate look into the life of an autistic child. Well done, Mr. Mark Haddon. When I'm a famous author, I'll invite you to my parties.